Working out child arrangements with your ex-spouse or partner following a divorce or legal separation could be immensely beneficial for everyone involved, most especially your children.
It enables you and your ex equal say in with the care of your children and will communicate to your children that you are keen on working together for their welfare. When deciding on child arrangements with your ex, however, avoid making these common mistakes.
Focusing Solely on Convenience
It’s natural to be tempted to craft arrangements that will be most convenient to you, but it’s crucial to keep in mind that the primary goal of the arrangements is to foster your children’s relationships with both their parents, which means that you must be prepared to compromise with the other parent.
With that said, expect that you will to make certain sacrifices for the arrangements to work and just remember that your ex will have to make certain sacrifices as well, advises a well-known family law specialist in the area.
Thinking It’s a Winning or Losing Game
This process isn’t a game, because the welfare of your children is ultimately at stake. You need to refrain from keeping track of the compromises you are making compared to your ex. Also, keep in mind that it’s not about the sacrifices you’re making, but about keeping your children’s best interests above all else.
Using Child Arrangements as Revenge
Creating child arrangements isn’t an opportunity for you to wreak havoc on your ex’s career personal life by planning out compromises that you know would negatively impact your ex’s life. Remember that your ex is still your children’s parent so set aside your personal vendetta and just focus on your children’s wellbeing.
Believing You’re The Better Parent
While you may be your children’s primary parent even before the separation or divorce and have ample experience with your children’s routines etc. this doesn’t automatically mean that your ex isn’t capable of stepping up to plate when faced with the daily challenges of child rearing.
It also helps to remember that having to learn and adapt to different parenting styles could teach your children a lesson or two on flexibility and patience.
Assuming All Conditions Will Be Easily Met
Let’s say for instance that your ex agreed to relocate near your home prior to your child entering primary school because your home is closer to your child’s school. However, whether or not the relocation happens would depend on various factors that your ex might not have control over, like whether or not your ex can find a suitable living arrangement near you. That being said, refrain from making arrangements that are contingent on factors that are beyond you and your ex’s control.
Put simply, when making child arrangements, you should uphold your children’s best interests above all else. Don’t let your personal history with your ex cloud your judgment. But if you find that you simply can’t work with your ex no matter how much you two try, consider mediation or going to court.
Read more at Call for Justice.