For parents, some of the decisions have to be second-guessed to consider the needs of the children. Actually, strike that. Most of the decisions go that way because you want to be a good parent.
It’s not a big deal when you’re in a healthy marriage, but if that is not the case, the needs of the children may fall off your list of priorities. Even worse, parents may believe staying in the unhealthy marriage is for the benefit of the children.
Let’s see what happens to your children if you remain in a loveless relationship:
1. Children will think all relationships are unhealthy
Your children learn from the examples you set for them. When they see you and your spouse fighting all the time, and you have not shown any signs of leaving the marriage, they will think this is how all marriages are supposed to go.
You might be setting up your child for a life of domestic abuse if you yourself refuse to end the marriage despite everyone suggesting you should call a divorce attorney in Kent.
2. Children will have trouble trusting people
Marriages do not often start unhealthy. Somewhere along the way, something goes wrong, and you do not know how to get them back on the right track. You hold on until you can, thinking everything will get better and this is just a fluke in your marriage.
But nothing changes, and you remain a passive participant in your relationship. In the eyes of your impressionable children, this translates to you believing the words of your spouse despite their actions showing something else.
As children start to develop their own ideas, they think people are like your spouse, who will say things for their own gain even if it can be at the expense of someone else. This will become problematic once your child is old enough to have an intimate relationship, as they will have trouble fully trusting their significant other.
3. Children will not learn to love themselves
Much emphasis is put on self-love these days, but you might be resistant to the idea if you choose to stay in an unhappy marriage. Your actions tell your child that instead of prioritizing your personal needs and seeking your own happiness, it’s okay to remain in a place that is holding you back and hurting you on a daily basis.
Your spouse may be a serial cheater, or perhaps they have gambling problems eating into the family budget. You deal with the problems by staying silent, sometimes even telling your children to do the same, just to avoid fights.
Even simpler problems, such as you and your spouse having miscommunication issues, give your child the wrong idea about self-love. They think suffering in silence is the way to go, and they do not learn to stand up for themselves because you have shown them a passive way of preventing fights from happening.
There are several lessons you are teaching your child every day. If you really love them, you will teach them that sometimes, walking away from a bad marriage is better than having a complete family on paper that is problematic in real life.